I did the thing I never wanted to do again. I just disappeared and left this blog hanging. I drifted away and didn’t have the energy to even make a post saying I need to take a break. I left without saying that I’d be back when everything calms down.

I’ve been really stressed about my financial situation, school, and my health. I’m still in constant pain and it doesn’t help my mental health at all. I’ve been having a relapse with depression and my anxiety is through the roof. I’ve been isolating because of all the problems. I’ve been irritated and I don’t wanna make any rash decisions and cut off people that care about me. It’s sad I can’t see that my friends care about me most of the time.

Most of them don’t seem to wanna spend time with me, we rarely talk, we don’t meet or go out, no one ever comes to see me in my home city and I’m always the one who goes to places. And those times are super rare. And I feel like I’m the one who needs to always initiate the conversations or the friendships die. It’s really taxing so I just let people drift away a lot. I hate it but what can I do in this mental state. I have to listen to myself and put my health first.

This rant doesn’t include the people I do meet and the people I chat with all the time. I’m not holding anyone’s mental health or distance from me against them. It just feels bad to have most of my friends scattered all around the country and the world. Distance wouldn’t be a problem if I had the money to travel but nope.

I’m gonna wrap this up now because I drifted away from the topic and I feel feverish. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be back. I also wanted to thank you all for reading my blog and sticking around. I hope to see you all really soon!

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February favorites

Hello everyone! I thought I would start monthly favorites in this blog. Every month I’ll be posting about my favorite shows, movies, books, etc. that have come out during the month. On top of that, I will sometimes write about my new favorite products and food. I’ll also add what I’m currently watching, reading and listening to.

I started to use Grammarly which has helped me a ton with my grammar. I struggle with writing some more complex words, punctuation, and some pretty basic grammar so it has been saving my life as a blogger. 😀 I highly recommend trying it out!

This month I’ve been watching One Day at a time season 3 and Cloak and Dagger.

Finished Between Life and Death: The In-Betweener by Ann Christy and I loved it. I’m planning to write a full book review of it because it’s such a well-written piece and it gives food for thought. I also love her take on life after a zombie apocalypse. I can’t wait to get my hands on the next books on the series.

Been listening to my go-to bands such as Bastille, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Imagine Dragons, Ninja Sex Party, and Starbomb.

Started watching some new youtube channels on top of my old favorites. These include The Tryguys, Safiya Nygaard and Jessica Kellgren-Fozard. Check out my current top 15 Youtubers. 

My top 15 favorite Youtube channels

I thought I’d list my favorite Youtube channels but oh boy was it hard. 😀 I’ve subscribed to around 160 channels I think so I just can’t fit all my favorites here haha. I don’t like ranking stuff because I love all my favorites equally. This is my current top 15 and I tried to pick longtime favorites mostly with some new finds that I absolutely love!

 

15. Translator Fails

I recently found Malinda Kathleen Reese’s channel and I fell in love with the funny parody songs she does right away. She takes song lyrics and puts them through Google translator multiple times and each time in a different language. Then she translates the lyrics back to English and sings the translated song. Hilarious stuff. Oh, and she also writes her original music! Highly recommend.

14. Good Mythical Morning

Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal are a comedy duo who host a morning talk show called Good Mythical Morning on their channel. The duo also has another channel and a podcast called Ear Biscuits.

13. LordMinion777

Wade makes different types of let’s play videos including horror, survival, action, and adventure games. He plays a lot with his friends and his channel is entertaining as well as fun to watch.

12. BreadHeroDan

Bread dude making sweet gaming content. He plays a lot of different games just like Wade and Jacksepticeye. He’s a chill dude.  6/5 would recommend.

11. Echo Gillette

Echo is a Youtuber as well as well as an artist. She takes a part in different art challenges, draws her fans’ original characters and does sketchbook tours amongst other videos.

10. Daniel Howell

He makes a wide range of vlogs and collabs often with his friend and roommate Phil aka AmazingPhil on youtube.

9. AmazingPhil

Phil does mostly vlog style videos and frequently collabs with Daniel Howell. They also have a gaming channel together where they play a wide range of games and compete with each other as well.

8. Safiya Nygaard

Safiya makes a lot of fashion and makeup videos as well as different reviews of different products relating to her niche. She even tries really weird clothing items for time to time.

7. Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Jessica does a lot of videos about vintage fashion and lifestyle. She also makes a lot of deafness, disability, and LGBT+ awareness videos. There’s quite a lot of videos she does with her wife Claudia as well.

6. Jacksfilms

A channel full of laugh and goofs. Jack makes different parodies, music videos, sketches, JackAsk, Your Grammar sucks, News in Haikus and YIAY. He also occasionally fixes his subscribers’ pictures or Twitter bios amongst other things.

5. Alltime Conspiracies 

My go-to conspiracy channel since my friend recommended it last summer. I love different conspiracy theories and this channel has covered a lot of different ones. They go through both sides of the stories and dive deep with the possible evidence or lack thereof giving the watcher a full picture of the story.

4. Buzzfeed Unsolved Network

Channel for all sorts of mystery, true crime, conspiracy, and supernatural. Home to the popular series Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural and Buzzfeed Unsolved: True Crime.

3. Betapixl

Funny let’s plays and stream clips of many different games. Phenomenal video editor and animator. His main channel Pixlpit has all his amazing animations as well as vlogs, animation tutorials and behind the scenes videos.

2. Game Grumps 

Game Grumps is a let’s play channel Hosted by Arin Hanson and Dan Avidan. Their commentary is comedic and they never fail to make me laugh.

1. Jacksepticeye

He does a lot of different gaming videos, comedy skits and multiple charity lives streams per year. He’s funny and energetic.

 

I’ll be wtiting a second list later. In the meantime let me know what you think of my list and which ones are your favorites! I’d love to get some new recommendations. 🙂

Feeling stagnant

I have nothing to write about and I don’t quite feel like it at the moment either. There’s nothing happening in my life right now. Just struggling with school and my health. Kinda wanna drop out again, to be honest. I can’t even get out and do things as most of the things I could do need money which I don’t have. Also, I don’t have friends around here.

I’ve been wanting to get out of the country. I just need some adventures and new surroundings for a while. I’m utterly bored and miserable with my stagnant life. I always thought I’d be free to live as soon as I turn 18 but oh boy was I wrong. Being an adult sucks. Had enough of it in the past 4 years haha. If I could I’d be traveling around the world or at least be living somewhere else than in this country I’ve started to hate. I mean I never really felt it was my home but as I’ve been growing up I’ve realized it isn’t nearly as good as people have been telling me all my life.

I don’t usually write negative posts like this anymore. I don’t feel like using the internet as a diary but here we go again. I just can’t seem to stop writing. I just have to balance being open and pouring all the dirt on other people which isn’t easy.

Let’s get back to the situation with this blog. I’ve been working on a more consistent schedule and I’ve been trying to come up with good topics. Neither of those is going well honestly. My brain has been really empty later and I keep losing my train of thought. Also feeling ill on top of all that usual brain fog doesn’t really help.

Let me know what you do when feeling stagnant. How do you keep going through rough times? What are your dreams and goals you want to achieve?

Been a painful week

Hey, I’m finally back.

It’s been a tiring week. I’ve had really bad insomnia and back pain so I haven’t been sleeping well. I was spending some time with my friend again and got my second tattoo. More about the experience later. After getting the tattoo I went shopping for new shoes and that task was super taxing on me. The day was way longer I expected and my back didn’t like it one bit. I did find a cute pair of shoes but oh man did it take way too much effort.

The last couple of days I’ve just tried to recharge for school but I still can’t sleep and I’m really stressed out. Honestly, I just can’t keep up with school. It gets overwhelming way too soon and being sick all the time makes it hard to maintain any routines. At least that’s how I feel. Chronic pain is awful and I’m tired of being held back by it and not being able to live my damn life. I’m young and I should be able to live and get things done but I feel like a damn corpse.

I’m doing my best with the blog and I want to post a lot but it’s not realistic that I can keep a super consistent schedule. Sometimes I can post more and sometimes less. Don’t feel like I can help it really. And some days I can’t provide you with anything good or valuable when I’m just feeling super down and frustrated at everything. I’m beyond thankful for all of you checking out this blog, reading, liking and commenting even when I’m not at my best as a writer. Thanks to you I keep going.

I hope you have a good day and stay healthy! 🙂

One Day at a Time close to getting canceled

So, one of my favorite shows is about to get axed by Netflix. I’m really done with them canceling popular shows so I thought I’d write about this issue and let people know what they’re missing out. I suggest you check it out and show your support.

Synopsis: 

Follows three generations of the same Cuban-American family living in the same house: a newly divorced former military mother, her teenage daughter, and tween son, and her old-school mother. Synopsis from IMDb

Why would One Day at a Time getting canceled matter? First off One Day at a time is hilarious and the humor isn’t racist or sexist which is way too rare when it comes to tv shows. The show represents this society and has a diverse cast including different sexualities and gender identities. There are many reasons why you need to watch it but listing them would take a while so I’m gonna leave it here. I’m gonna do a more in-depth review later tho.

A side note:  I’ll be ranting more about Netflix canceling my favorites in the near future. I have a beef with them now and I’m done being quiet about it. And yes I’m boycotting them at the moment because canceling these good and well performing shows is utter bullshit. I apologize for not being coherent as I’m too mad for that right now.

Let me know your thoughts on the topic and which Netflix shows should be picked up or axed. I wanna hear your thoughts. I also wanna hear if you like One Day at a time and why. Or if you don’t I wanna hear your thoughts too. Let’s get a conversation going.

 

 

Being a blogger can be damn overwhelming

Good Sunday! It’s been unproductive day today. I thought I’d have a proper day off because I’ve been sick and not all motivated but here I am again. Still spending the majority of the time reading blogs and doing general research about blogging. When I’m not researching I’m watching Youtube.

I’ve also been planning my first book review for ages and honestly, it’s pretty scary to start writing it. I just want to do really well and give good first impressions as a book reviewer. Would be nice to something with a bit of professionalism ahaha.

Which, reminds me how much I’ve been thinking about my writing skills and my blogging career in general. I’ve realized I’ve improved quite a bit since I first started when I was a teen. My writing was super awkward and oh boy the word order was really weird. Getting better at English grammar took me painfully long. Guess I was really bad until 18 ish which was 4 years ago. I’m glad I got better even though I didn’t have good English skills until I was 15-16 years old. I can finally say I’m pretty much bilingual and I’m super proud of that. One of the biggest improvements, however, was getting way more self-confident. I used to be super self-conscious and always beg for people to like the things I wrote even though I thought I wasn’t doing a good job. Guess I needed others to validate my existence.  I was always over promising things on my blog and apologizing when I didn’t have pictures etc.

The things that haven’t changed are me not knowing how to craft great titles for posts, having no pictures or other graphic elements and other trivial stuff. Oh, and I never got hang of the correct way to use tags when blogging! On top of all that SEO and trying to get traffic makes me almost pluck my hair out lol. I’ve been doing research about the right SEO tactics even before I got serious with my blog but I never found advice that’s straight forward enough for me. I need really clear and easy to follow instructions so that I actually learn something,

Let me know if you know any good posts or videos to help me out!